Fearing the Ombak of Politics

It is 5am in the morning, second day of Chinese New Year, no worms out yet, no birds singing yet, no one wake up yet, no one bother to call me yet. Thank God. In 10 minutes I will be hearing the mosque around the corner reciting the Quran before the Azan.

I am glad after the Suboh prayer I dont have to get dress for an official function. I am glad in two hours I am not on my way to an occassion to any part of the country where I will be on stage singing Negara Ku and to do the Yee Sang with the rest of the rakyat. I am glad I do not have to go through pages of draft speeches, approving it in order to read it in front of the rakyat of this great Nation. Most of all, I am glad I do not have to make promises to the rakyat that I will not increase the price of petrol which I know will rise beyond control. If I can help it, I do not want to keep promises I can't keep.

Politicians comes in various sizes. The small ones are the proud politicians, they are also known as jaguh kampung heavy weight type of politician that you see hanging around in the mamak stalls and restaurant day in and day out. They talked about politics everyday. You see them at the same corner of the stalls in the morning and in the evening. They speak louder than words, giving out names of high ranking people they knew and speculate about this high ranking people in a big way. Every evening they will be in the same coffee shop with the same topics until the early hours of the morning. They do not seems to be working the next days or any other day for that matter.

They are extraordinary people, their cholesterol level, normal, no high blood pressure, they eat after 10pm, they drink many cups of sweet tea without the need to go to the toilet, they smoke like a chimney, they just look healthy, when they are not feeling well, they took the local traditional medicine, they love the "ubat kuat" which I am unable to appreciate. Whatever it is, it keeps them alive and kicking again the next day. They are known as the hardcore grass root politician. Without them, they believe, whoever runs that particular area as a State Assemblyman or Parliamentarian will fail.

The bigger politicians are nicer to look at and smoother, very smooth, they dress well, they look as if they are on make up everyday. They smile a lot, they have calmness, they greet you like a sweet receptionist that give you a crush in the morning. Take their handphone number, send sms or call them, you get no reply. Apparently they carry five handphones but only one handphone visible to you. The Ministers are even better, they dont seems to carry a handphone at all.

These politicians make body contact with you, like giving you a pat on the back. I know a politician as he gets to know you closer, the pat on the back goes lower and lower, closer and closer to your butt.

Two years ago I met the Governer of Nonthaburi in an official function, Nonthaburi is a district north of Bangkok. He was also the former Governor of Phuket, like many other high ranking politicians I have met, they are very pleasant people to talk too. Every words that came out from his mouth supplement with a smile. Along the conversation, he spoke of our former Deputy Prime Minister, how he felt sorry of him sacked in disgrace. He also mentioned how he met Anwar when he came to Malaysia many years ago for a friendly match of rugby at the Malay College Kuala Kangsar. Out of curiousity I asked "Your Excellency, did Anwar play rugby?" "No, I dont think he does." said the Governor. " Your Excellency....." I said. " Would you agree with me, if Anwar plays rugby, he would have known how to tackle someone from behind?"

We both laughed.

This reminds me of this beautiful Malay proverbs. Again, I got it from my mum, "Kalau Nak Berumah Di Tepi Pantai, Kenalah Berani Menahan Ombak." Frankly, for now, I am happy to live at the bukit, I do not think I want a house fronting the pantai.